Bald and clear

the last few days I almost was going to explode, but in the end i breathed and settled myself and talked to the inner me, so I decided to let go of everything , my problems and my emotions and my thinking , so I decided to go bald as to give myself a new start, just like when a baby is born he will come to this life bald and with a clear mind and a heart, thats why I cut my hair bald to give myself a new heart and mind, and I feel its effective, what worries me before doesn't bother me anymore, I don't know if I can go on like that till I go hometown, but at least now I feel I' m giving space to me and......., we both need space from each other, I hope this will give us both time to think and see how both of us went wrong to the other, and I hope this will make it better between us, because I know we both still have something that link us together, take care my friend I also not sure u read my blog or not haha

why did you lie?

why did you lie? you said that you will...... but in the end I see you with...... ,didn't you think I will see it eventually , please never lie again because a lady will loose her respect when she lies, I can handle the truth no matter what, just don't lie again......

Gifts From the Heart

A young man while roaming the desert came across a spring of delicious crystal-clear water. The water was so sweet he filled his leather canteen so he could bring some back to a tribal elder who had been his teacher.

After a four-day journey he presented the water to the old man who took a deep drink, smiled warmly and thanked his student lavishly for the sweet water. The young man returned to his village with a happy heart.

Later, the teacher let another student taste the water. He spat it out, saying it was awful. It apparently had become stale because of the old leather container. The student challenged his teacher: 'Master, the water was foul. Why did you pretend to like it?'

The teacher replied, 'You only tasted the water. I tasted the gift. The water was simply the container for an act of loving-kindness and nothing could be sweeter. Heartfelt gifts deserve the return gift of gratitude.'

I think we understand this lesson best when we receive innocent gifts of love from young children. Whether it's a ceramic tray or a macaroni bracelet, the natural and proper response is appreciation and expressed thankfulness because we love the idea within the gift.

Gratitude doesn't always come naturally. Unfortunately, many value only the thing given rather than the feeling embodied in it. We should remind ourselves about the beauty and purity of feelings and expressions of gratitude. After all, gifts from the heart are really gifts of the heart.

Unnecessary Knowledge

through out the years I've been in front of the screen , many years over the internet , searching many stuff around , on how things works and what is there to see , and what technology will be developed , my friends always scold me for finding useless stuff on the internet, I do find useless and unnecessary stuff from time to time, but thanks to that I do feel I'm a very knowledgeable person haha, in fact I can tell u many things you would never heard of it or knew it existed , like did you know that turtles can breathe through their butts!! haha I bet you never knew that ! well it's quite useless to know that!! but how about when some useless stuff become handy and good to know like for example did you know that women when during their periods,their middle fingers shrink.although no one knows why, actually we no need to know why haha, but at least we can tell when a girl is having a period or not, haha I bet not even they noticed it! but it is true ! yet its considered unnecessary knowledge , well what to do , this what happens when you read alot in the internet .it is like corrupting your mind through out the years!! well as long as I enjoy it I will keep doing it.....

17 september 2008

today I had to do one of the biggest decisions in my life, what I did could make me loose something forever , but I had no choice but to do it, is either do it or regret that I didn't do it my whole life, either way I hope it will turn out to be fine, and whatever happens , I will accept it , it was my choice to start it but it's not my choice on how to end it, if for me ! I never want to end it !

whatever happens,I'm a man I can stand on my feet.......

what is wrong with me!!

haha I don't know if I should laugh at myself or feel other things, the pain is getting stronger, and my purple best friend disk is starting to finish shot by shot, some days I had to use it twice , its been a long time since it came back to me , but this time it came stronger than anytime , is it the end?? well I dont really scare the end ! let it be whatever it will be .....for now I still want to spend more time with ....... if I can make everything the way it was before then I dont mind the end to come anytime..............